Exhausted

The first 6 months of this great year have kept me on my toes, no doubts about that! Between the recurring migraines, the fluctuating costochronodritis and the university semester I have certainly had my hands full.

But it hasn’t all been fun and games my friends!

I’ve lost my abilities to teach my private yoga classes for chronic and recovering ill individuals. So I have also lost my only means of income. This did of course mean I had extra time for my study and to maintain my health.

Yet, you will know as well as I, that I don’t long hold back from pushing myself. I took up an optional elective unit at uni this semester, since I had the chance and time. The points of accreditation that I accumulate for this unit will not contribute to my degree, so there is no benefit in me taking them, other than pleasure and personal growth. The unit is titled Theatre in Education (TIE) and it delves on to the possibilities and methods of employing theatre and drama as an education style. TIE is not as widely known, yet is proven to be effective and is already employed in health facilities and prison reform centers to great effect. So of course, my naturally dramatic character was drawn to the topic when I had the extra time to fill in my life and semester.

As the end of semester approaches, so too do exams and final assessments. In TIE we are delivering a week of double shows each day to schools of the Perth region, as well as two public shows for friends, family and others. That week is next week, so this week the class is in Intensive Rehearsals week where we finalise the performance, production and music (it is a children’s comedic musical so it is VERY intensive). We’ve been at it for between 3 and 8 hours each day so far, once even had a 12 hour day. I fall in to bed exhausted but unable to sleep due to the adrenalin curing through my veins and the many thoughts I’m trying to process for the next run.

With my Lupus I need to get at least 9 hours of deep restful sleep each night or else sickness comes knocking. I also need to keep my body away from stresses so as not to damage it, which happens all too easily. Needless to say I have not been sleeping and my body is under stress. With the recent appearance of the mystery almost illness I am very aware that the muck is likely to hit the fan before the end of this week. I keep positive and my chin is very high with the confidence that I will make it through to exams without major mishap.

My only concern is how I will manage to start revising and studying for exams when I am sleeping in to 11, crying  and attempting to cope with this unbearable itchiness until mid afternoon, making dinner of soup then heading off to another rehearsal and set production workshop until 10 in the evening. Don’t even ask how I have found time to write this down (I’m crying in a bath of Pinetarsol currently).

Until next time I have a break, I will leave you with a sneak peak of Van Dyk, the Inadequate (Cat) Dutch Artist…

 

I’m a Cat in a children’s musical

An Almost Illness

The overwhelming sensation that there just aren’t enough hours in the day is not something I experience. Mainly because I refuse to acknowledge  stress. My best job reference has always been “She doesn’t get her work done at a fast rate, but it is done on time and at 200%.”  Personally, I cannot see any flaws in that. I certainly don’t let stress get to me.

I am coming up to the end of my university semester. Of the last 14 weeks I have:

• Spent 1.5 days in the Neurology clinic at Royal Perth Hospital
• Re-awakened my talents and desires for singing
• Had Migraines for 4 weeks
• Been in bed sick for 1.5 weeks
• Been at home but mobile sick for 1 week
• Visited my folks once
• Regained my speech and sight
• Had 2 colds

I am very pleased to note that the new medication I am on has cleared the migraines and improved my concentration. The trouble at the moment is simply that I am at the end of the semester and and entering 2 solid weeks of performing, as well as 2 solid weeks of exam preparation and my exams.

Now I want to make it clear that I do not feel stressed, although I know this doesn’t mean much to my body. I am taking care of my health and wellbeing. Why am I saying this, you may be wondering. Well very simply I appear to be experiencing an ‘almost illness’.

What is an ‘almost illness’? Firstly, as a sufferer of SLE (Lupus) I get sick different to ordinary folk. Where an illness for someone else is asthma, skin lesions, clotting, or cartilage inflammation, to me these are symptoms. Mere hiccups along the way.

A symptom of an illness is a sign of something bigger. A tumor may be a symptom of cancer. A pus is a symptom of infection.  Bleeding is a symptom of a cut.

You get the picture.

My stroke episodes were symptoms of blocked brain vessels, which is a symptom of SLE. Migraines are a symptom of a sensitive nervous system, which is a symptom of SLE. Colds are a symptom of a weak immune system, which is a symptom of autoimmune diseases, which is SLE.

Surely you get the picture now.

What I’m trying to tell you, what I want you to now and understand, is that nothing just happens to me. Yes, everyone gets the cold. Yes, it’ not surprising I get it too. But I do get it harder and more often than others. It lingers longer and takes a bigger toll on me. I’m special.

Back to my almost illness.

In the last month I have had 4 episodes. I get out of bed in the morning, feed Polly and start dressing for the day. Not long after I am ready my legs tingle. Then itch. All over. It is excruciating. I can barely think straight. There is no rash, no broken skin. No reason at all for this to happen.

Different clothes, different temperatures, different times of the day. The washing powder hasn’t changed and it was sensitive mix anyway due to eczema in the family. Shaved legs or hairy, jeans or tights or skirts. Showers in oils and lotions. Creams and powders and sprays and nothing. The only thing that kind of helps is a pile of codeine and strong skin specific antihistamines. I cannot get in to the doctors at the time of irritation, but it wouldn’t help anyway as there is nothing to see. I will go regardless, there is not much more I can take and since it happened in the middle of last night I am at my limit.

So. You see. Not quite an illness, but frequent enough that it needs to be looked in to. My almost illness.