This Lupus Life

I am the dancer and Lupus is my music. I want to make it look beautiful

Not a seizure



Once more I find myself awaking in a bed of Fiona Stanley Hospital. It opened 6 months ago yet here I am for the second time. (It may actually be third actually but my memory is so fuzzy.)

Why am I here?

Wednesday is my uni day.
Lecture on drugs 10:30.
Tutorial on drugs 11:30.
Lecture on assessment 1:30.
Tutorial on assessment 2:30.

In the first tutorial I started feeling light headed.
My left field of vision began pulsating in and out of greyness.
Tiny glittery dots started twinkling and flashing in the upper right part of my vision.
I closed my eyes and they remained.
Here I decided to take my pulse and stay seated without speaking. Noted on my paper symptoms, BPM and times. Sight resolved after 15 minutes but I lost awareness of everything to my left and that never left.

I bumped into some people walking to next lecture. Walked slower then.

In lecture 2 I lost movement in left arm. Checked sight.
Checked for facial paralysis.
Checked leg function.
Writing OK
Reading OK.
Cannot focus.
Cannot understand heard language.
Wrote down to relisten to lecture.
Txt mum. No response.
Walk slow to tutorial. Bump into people on the way.
Concentrate on legs and balance.
No left spacial awareness.
No left arm function
No left vision.
Sight twinkling and pulsating.
No ability to focus or hear.
Can write. Think basic thoughts.
Images from memory appearing to the left.
Fever hits.
Need to vomit and go to toilet.
Get up to leave class.
Stumble through.
Ask where toilet is and proceed to tell tutor ‘I think I’m having a stroke.’
In my sight she disappears.
A student from previous unit, aware of my condition saves me.
I say boyfriend G
Housemate Beau.
The student calls them both and then they are on the way.
I lose consciousness in the toilet but within minutes the security is there and ambulance on their way.
That is all there is for now.
I’m sorry for the drama.
I’m embarrassed for causing a scene in class.
I’m worried I’ll fall behind.
I’m worried I’ll have brain masses.



Author: Chevron Spots

I am in my mid twenties and fighting my battles to discover who I am and where I fit in to this zany, beautiful world. I was diagnosed with Lupus in in 2008. This takes up most of my focus, as I want to share the experience of trying to live with and rise above chronic invisible illness, so to speak. I would like to stress very much the information regarding medications, medical procedures and illnesses are discussed from my point of view, and with my understanding, colloquialisms and metaphors. I do not attempt to be legally and precisely accurate for the general population, rather I try to be emotionally and descriptively true to my experiences. I hope I can help in understanding others with chronic illness by providing one more personal recount of just how spontaneous and difficult these lives really are. One day I hope to visit every continent, climb some pretty high mountains, sleep in an ice cavern, marry a wonderfully understanding man, have children and teach more children. Mostly, I just want a simple life, you know the house with a husband and kids. Oh, and no pain.

14 thoughts on “Not a seizure

  1. Oh my gosh! You didn’t have a stroke, right? Please take care of yourself. I hope you get answers soon.


    • They still don’t know what these things are. I’m told when they happen to say It’s a stroke but the truth is no one knows.
      The doctors in this hospital aren’t familiar with my history so they are negating everything, which initially happened with my current team of Neurologists and Immunologists at RPH. They say I can’t have Vasculitis so I’ve taken huge steps back.
      It cannot really have been a stroke as there is no even slightly residual paralysis. Small positive but I’m glad of that fact!


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