This Lupus Life

I am the dancer and Lupus is my music. I want to make it look beautiful

The Best of Both Worlds

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Recently I attended a local viewing of a comedy film festival. The curators of this festival travel the world acquiring short films made by a range of filmmakers both professional and amateur. It is called Over The Top Film Festival, I would highly recommend having a look in to this some time.

The relevance here is that during my evening of filmmakers viewing pleasure I was faced with one of my own moral dilemmas in a humorous form. The film in question was called The Best Of Both Worlds, written and directed by Michael Dunker of USA.

The film plays heavily on stereotypes of men and women and was in some ways quite offensive to me for that reason. I know my friend Vollie hated the film for that reason.

I, however, could barely focused on the visual as I was overwhelmed with my own thoughts at the same time.

A young man goes to a bar and meets the girl of his dreams. They return to his place and naughty frivolity ensues. When he wakes up the sexy girl is gone, and there is a hairy man in the same tee loaned earlier by the girl.

It seems this girl only exists at night, during the day she becomes the ultimate guy’s guy. Of course our hero is stunned and can’t accept it. They hang out for the day but still there is no working through this information.

She was incredible. The girl of his dreams.
He was a great guy to have as a mate.
She was a he for half of every day.

I will be honest.
I am not transgender.
I do not change genders at night.

So why was I conflicted internally?

It has almost been 10 years since I was diagnosed. I can handle what comes at me. I now know how to work my way through the medical system. I have had a decent run now so the list takes a bit to get through I know (anything more than 3 I think seems like a lot).

But I cannot ease the worry of others. I can’t stop them from becoming worried. Just because I now am numb, it doesn’t mean they are or don’t have the right to be. As I mentioned, I have already considered aloud when is the right time to share something meaningful with somebody you’d like to get to know intimately? Granted, Best of Both Worlds tackled a different situation in a different way than I would. But only slightly.

They slept together only hours after meeting (unlike me)
HeShe didn’t hide it, or delay the discovery (like me)
HeShe didn’t push the matter on to the Hero (like me)
HeShe stuck around and allowed Hero to get to know HimHer, even though it was uncomfortable (like me)
Hero realised the person he spent time with was still the same, and despite the changes that occur regularly, HeShe was still the dream girl and a great guy (like me, I’m a dream girl. Unlike me, I’m not a great guy).

So from a stereotypical short comedy about a drunken one night stand gone wrong and some awkward self realisations, I took away a deep reflection on my own life situation.

Maybe it would be easier if I was a dude during the day?

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Author: Chevron Spots

I am in my mid twenties and fighting my battles to discover who I am and where I fit in to this zany, beautiful world. I was diagnosed with Lupus in in 2008. This takes up most of my focus, as I want to share the experience of trying to live with and rise above chronic invisible illness, so to speak. I would like to stress very much the information regarding medications, medical procedures and illnesses are discussed from my point of view, and with my understanding, colloquialisms and metaphors. I do not attempt to be legally and precisely accurate for the general population, rather I try to be emotionally and descriptively true to my experiences. I hope I can help in understanding others with chronic illness by providing one more personal recount of just how spontaneous and difficult these lives really are. One day I hope to visit every continent, climb some pretty high mountains, sleep in an ice cavern, marry a wonderfully understanding man, have children and teach more children. Mostly, I just want a simple life, you know the house with a husband and kids. Oh, and no pain.

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