These last few days have hit me where it hurts. No not literally (that’d be everywhere) but figuratively. 2014 just keeps on coming at me, yet I am adamant after the next few days of down time I will be back swinging.
Before I continue I want to put a disclaimer out as the events relate to other people in my life and by no means do I want to upset them by sharing but if I don’t get this out now I may ruin this coming Mothers Day weekend.
A friend emailed me yesterday morning to chat to me about how they have been overcoming a failed suicide attempt. They were glad I had kept in touch with them but felt they could not open up to anyone when they had been in trouble. Yet we had been communicating that whole time ad I had missed it. It’s a common thing for people to miss it apparently, and I was sick myself, but when you hear this stuff you still feel bad.
Yesterday I had a conversation with another friend who emphatically and passionately told all these reasons why “If there’s only one thing I do in life it should be to give birth to my own child. It will make my life complete in a way nothing else will.”
I also cut my thumb in half last night. It hurt. A lot.
I was distracted yesterday through all this and forgot to take my Propanolol. So today I have been sitting in Migraine City, forecast pain with a chance of aura.
At uni I caught up with a friend I haven’t had much time to chat with lately. He informed me he was dropping out of the theatre performance we are both in as he wouldn’t be able to make it. When I cautiously asked him why he just said, “I have Glaucoma and it’s bad. They’re taking out one of my eyes.”
Invisible illness strikes again in an otherwise healthy 21-year-old.
I also have 2 close friends recovering from recent traumatic abuse experiences and a friend slowly succumbing to melanoma in his brain.
At the moment I feel like I am wading through half-set concrete and if I don’t keep hold of my positive mindset things could get bad. I know these issues don’t affect me directly, but some days you just want to give the universe the finger and sing in French.
(If you don’t understand this song by Camille, Ta Douleur, translates to “I will take your pain”)