This Lupus Life

I am the dancer and Lupus is my music. I want to make it look beautiful

Mono Polly


As you may recall almost two years ago I lost the most dedicated and affectionate companion I had yet known with the passing of my sweet Cinta. To those who will think lightly of how deeply connected to my cat I was and have not encountered this kind of connection with an animal, I cannot and will not try to justify this. It was, through her, that I learned how to open myself up and show affection towards another living person on a conscious level.

When Cinta passed I wished so irrationally for more time with her. I wished I could have more time with everyone else around me while I tried to work out how to fill that hole. I have not lost anyone that close to me that I could truly appreciate how deep loss can be felt. I knew one day I would there would be another, but I could not face that at the time. I also knew that I would need to have someone or something to focus my love and affections on so that my shadowy passenger, my depression, didn’t take over my heart once more.

I met some kittens in the late autumn of 2013, May to be exact. some boys and some girls. Eventually a mischievous little white and grey thing started to outright ignore me in a way that indicated she was nothing like Cinta and that we would get along splendidly. She disdained cuddles unless she was demanding them and reveled in using humans as scratching posts. Her intrigue for running water and wooden golf tees plus her insistence on sleeping under the covers soon saw her moving in. We got on swimmingly.


Sleepy Kitten

Sleepy Kitten


Polly pocket. Polly unsaturated. Roly Poly. Polly Put the Kettle on. Polly Want a Cracker.

Yes I have heard them all. We have taught her to play fetch, have showers and purr whenever she is picked up. She talks to us, sings (yep!) and still sleeps in the covers. Β This is the girl that now lives with me and it is her first birthday.

Polly Chilling

Polly Chilling


Author: Chevron Spots

I am in my mid twenties and fighting my battles to discover who I am and where I fit in to this zany, beautiful world. I was diagnosed with Lupus in in 2008. This takes up most of my focus, as I want to share the experience of trying to live with and rise above chronic invisible illness, so to speak. I would like to stress very much the information regarding medications, medical procedures and illnesses are discussed from my point of view, and with my understanding, colloquialisms and metaphors. I do not attempt to be legally and precisely accurate for the general population, rather I try to be emotionally and descriptively true to my experiences. I hope I can help in understanding others with chronic illness by providing one more personal recount of just how spontaneous and difficult these lives really are. One day I hope to visit every continent, climb some pretty high mountains, sleep in an ice cavern, marry a wonderfully understanding man, have children and teach more children. Mostly, I just want a simple life, you know the house with a husband and kids. Oh, and no pain.

7 thoughts on “Mono Polly

  1. Yay for Polly! πŸ™‚ I know that Cinta will always have a special place in your heart but I was hoping you would find another four legged baby to love. πŸ™‚ I know how you feel about Cinta and it is too much effort to try to “justify” this love to someone who has never experienced it. How many times did I have to hear, “It’s just a cat,” or “you can get another one,” or some other insensitive thing. So I keep my thoughts of Lucy to myself. I do have Mia now and have only recently sort of stopped feeling “guilty” for loving again and for calling her “my favorite girl in the world” (which was what I used to tell Lucy). When I realized that, I was horrified. But after six years, I think it’s okay. Lucy was the first “pet” that I had that was actually more than just a pet. I had her for 10 years. I got her on O’ahu while I was in college a couple of years after high school, and later as I moved, she came to live with me in Las Vegas and then Colorado. She was my black cat with the crooked, imperfect tail. She was “imperfect” just like me, which made her “perfect”. She was not nice. πŸ™‚ I loved that. You just had to respect her and she would respect you. She was very patient though. Once a girl came over to my house with a mutual friend and for some reason I immediately didn’t like her. I liked her less when she started to really mess around with Lucy & I could see that Lucy was getting agitated as well. I knew the girl was just going to get more aggressive with Lucy but I also knew that Lucy could take care of herself better than I could. So I let it all play out, the girl got a nice well deserved gash (not infected or anything, I’m not that “evil”) :), and then left Lucy alone for the rest of the night as I said, “Sorry.” πŸ™‚ Lucy was a cat that didn’t just “love” you because she wanted to be pet, cuddles, or attention. She preferred to be alone, came to you if she really liked you (so she was selective and chose well), and she would keep my legs warm in the middle of the night. Well that’s a little about my beast. πŸ™‚ I like the photo of Polly “chilling.” πŸ™‚


    • Lucy sounds like a wonderful girl, although I am sure Mia is beautiful too. Polly is different and sounds similar to Lucy. I think a cat is good for my illness, I’m not sure if you agree. Dogs are too much, and while partners are nice, they often don’t love as unconditionally and give you space when the pain is too much. Yet the amount they need you is just enough to keep the Lupus at bay. I hope Mia treats you very well when you aren’t doing so good.


      • I agree about cats. They are much easier & dogs are more “needy”- they require a lot of attention. Mia is good for me though and I like that I can teach her tricks. Yet sometimes I wish she would just sit in my lap and let me relax with her. I agree about the love you receive from them~ Lucy and Mia taught me unconditional love and one of the best feelings is coming home after being gone, even if for an hour or work day and every single time I come home she greets me like I’ve been on a long trip. She misses me more than anyone has ever missed me before. I don’t know if I had mentioned Niko. I got him a couple of months after Lucy was gone bc of the sadness. He was a shelter kitty. He was wonderful even though he was only in my life for about 5 months. He ended up having a neurological problem that they couldn’t figure out and he got really bad. After that I didn’t want any more. The losses were too much on top of other things that were going on in my life but again the apartment was so quiet and my heart was so lonely. I thought maybe if I get a dog, even though they are high maintenance, then she’ll live longer. I don’t know. But crossing my fingers. πŸ™‚ Take care and hope it’s beautiful on your side of the world. πŸ™‚ By the way, I enjoyed your travel posts. The European tour sounded like a lot of fun- besides having to wake up super early in the morning. πŸ™‚


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