I feel like I am on such a difficult path at the moment. I know what I want for my future and the basic idea of how I can achieve this in the short and long term. This does not make it any easier to start out.
I feel alone right now, as I do not have someone who I can directly follow in the footsteps of. I know my journey is one I must create for myself, and this scares me. Every movement and decision I make is based on what I believe will lead me on the right path. Time should not be wasted and any skill that I could acquire should be grasped by both hands and pulled in tight. I know I will make mistakes and take as many steps backwards as I will forwards in the near future. I know that I cannot avoid this or fight against it, rather I just need to trust that everything I do is with a good intention and not too harmful in the long term.
I am fortunate in my position in life that I have people close to me that have faith in me as I follow this path. They provide me with the greatest gift I need to grow and that is in the way they challenge my ideas and concepts, question my plans and proposals and offer advice and knowledge that I have not considered. I am a stubborn person. I can be foolhardy and appear to rush in to decisions or discussions with little information. I like to be challenged in order to show me what I cannot see. I need strong practical people to keep my emotions and ideas from running wild and losing focus.
I have always struggled to share my emotions with others and have been accused of being cold more than once, which has made this time even harder for me. I can only hope that those I am closest to will trust in what I do and understand that I need their support to stay focused in the future. In order to grow in the ways I need, I just hope they will be there every step of the way challenging me to the top of the mountain.