This Lupus Life

I am the dancer and Lupus is my music. I want to make it look beautiful

Happiness

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There are places I go to where I find an instant sense of calm and peace. One of those places is the yoga mat. Another is the ocean, or any large body of water. I like to be near the water and imagine I am alone, gliding on with the wind guiding me and carrying away whatever is within me that I don’t need.

Sometimes I even become overwhelmed with a light joy when I walk in to certain commercial places like cafes, book shops, markets. Fremantle, the port city of Perth, is one of these places. Wild Poppy Cafe, Blue Budha and Red Tiger. These places are so blissful.

Having said that, my favourite place for being happy and peaceful is with my closest friends. As with all people, I rely on my friends to provide me with a safe, trusting and honest environment. I can be myself and not try to behave or respond in a way which is deemed ‘acceptable’ rather than just relaxing naturally.

I’m not sure if everyone feels the same way as me, but I always feel this acute awareness of the moods of others when I am with them. I feel sometimes the indifference, judgment and expectations. With my family and friends I only feel the love, trust and honesty they have towards me. It’s what I expect of them and what I think they expect of me. Anything less does not earn my love.

My happiest place is this places. The open circle of love, trust and honesty is where I feel I am my greatest. By finding this in others I find it in myself. When I can be in this place I truly am blessed.

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Author: Chevron Spots

I am in my mid twenties and fighting my battles to discover who I am and where I fit in to this zany, beautiful world. I was diagnosed with Lupus in in 2008. This takes up most of my focus, as I want to share the experience of trying to live with and rise above chronic invisible illness, so to speak. I would like to stress very much the information regarding medications, medical procedures and illnesses are discussed from my point of view, and with my understanding, colloquialisms and metaphors. I do not attempt to be legally and precisely accurate for the general population, rather I try to be emotionally and descriptively true to my experiences. I hope I can help in understanding others with chronic illness by providing one more personal recount of just how spontaneous and difficult these lives really are. One day I hope to visit every continent, climb some pretty high mountains, sleep in an ice cavern, marry a wonderfully understanding man, have children and teach more children. Mostly, I just want a simple life, you know the house with a husband and kids. Oh, and no pain.

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