This Lupus Life

I am the dancer and Lupus is my music. I want to make it look beautiful

The times they are a-changing!

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I have spoken about my disconnection and disinterest in where my life currently is. Now I have made a few big steps towards meeting up with who I feel I should be in my future.

The first decision I made was to enrol in an intensive Yoga Instructor course. For the month of January I will be practising yoga for roughly 9 hours everyday. I will learn each pose and the progressions into and between. I will learn the sanskrit language, the history, the philosophy. My knowledge of the poses will extend beyong myself and go in to how to assess the poses of others, and how to plan a class or practice. I will become qualified to instruct others in the ways of Yoga.

As you would recall, I am currently studying the Certificate III in Education Assistance. I had used all my accumulated holiday leave to pursue my prac’s with this course, so I don’t have the ability to take the time off work to also pursue my yoga learning. It took some tremendous internal contemplation, but I came to the position where I realised I wasn’t content enough in my job to want to stay anymore. This would mean that for me, if I left my job I would spend a month without an income and then would need to spend a few weeks after that trying to get back on my feet in to a job I enjoyed.

Like I said, I experienced a priod of tremendous internal contemplation. I came out in a place where I was actually excited. Yoga feels Right to me like no other goal has. It feels right in the same way that Cinta did. So I have put my trust in this feeling of ‘Right’ and somehow I know my life will fall in to place some time in early 2013.

I have a few places in mind to try to get some part time work, until I finish my Cert III EA and my last prac. I have a few ideas about trying to get in to the Yoga industry and the Education system. I also have some more placid, humble ideas about working in a cafe or retail store. I trust the Right thing will pop up.

I am very scared, as I am a person who thrives on control and specific goals and targets. What I am trying to achieve now is a a state-of-mind I think, more than a destination. It will be hard, but as Walrus told me recently:

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny. An I’ve been ordinary long enough.

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Author: Chevron Spots

I am in my mid twenties and fighting my battles to discover who I am and where I fit in to this zany, beautiful world. I was diagnosed with Lupus in in 2008. This takes up most of my focus, as I want to share the experience of trying to live with and rise above chronic invisible illness, so to speak. I would like to stress very much the information regarding medications, medical procedures and illnesses are discussed from my point of view, and with my understanding, colloquialisms and metaphors. I do not attempt to be legally and precisely accurate for the general population, rather I try to be emotionally and descriptively true to my experiences. I hope I can help in understanding others with chronic illness by providing one more personal recount of just how spontaneous and difficult these lives really are. One day I hope to visit every continent, climb some pretty high mountains, sleep in an ice cavern, marry a wonderfully understanding man, have children and teach more children. Mostly, I just want a simple life, you know the house with a husband and kids. Oh, and no pain.

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