This Lupus Life

I am the dancer and Lupus is my music. I want to make it look beautiful

Prac and Year 4/5

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The morning of my first day of my first prac I woke at 5am. It took me 3 minutes to start officially panicking. What was I thinking? I don’t even know if I like children that much. I thought to myself. How did I get myself into this situation?

My school was a good public school in the suburb that I live in. My cousin has a six year old girl attending there so I was going to walk with them to the office. I did the only thing a sensible person can do in this situation…I made myself a double shot espresso and sat in bed with Avatar: The Last Airbender on my TV while I thought about calming things until the time was more appropriate to get dressed.

Being the kind of person I am, my bag was already packed the night before and my lunch was also boxed and in the fridge. So, after I dressed carefully, I had another coffee and headed of to the Turner household. It seemed like in no time at all I was in school. The Administrator showed me to my classroom and introduced me to my teacher Miss S. I would be helping her with the Year 4/5 class. Old enough to have clear personalities and opinions. Old enough to have a conversation with. Old enough to be aware of their actions and the cause and effect of their behaviour.

The first week flew by almost too easily. I was glad for Friday. I felt overwhelmed, yet as if  everything had been to easy. I had helped with some Maths classes, kept the class quiet in line and answered questions when Miss S. was busy with others. I photocopied worksheets, arranged display boards and  refilled class supplies. But no real issues other than a misbehaving student being overtly rude, which was solved by a stern word. Friday afternoon I walked out of that place thinking again, How did I come to this direction? How do I feel about this work?

Monday of the second week I again had my worries, but when I was walking through the Quad to class, I felt overwhelmingly I am so glad I am here.This time the students knew the game, so they wanted to see how far I could be pushed. I stood up to one student’s insolence and earned respect from Miss S. I worked with a struggling student on a method to work through a hard lesson in a way that would better benefit her. I watched the class while Miss S. dealt with a “friendship issue” between some of the students. Friday as I left I was filled with sadness to know I only had one more week with these students and so I had to make it my best.

Monday of the third week I asked for the Grammar work for the week. I took some class materials and planned a special lesson for my struggling student. Miss S. was very positive about it, so I worked through it on Tuesday. My lecturer came in and gave me an overwhelmingly positive report. I spent some time with the School Education Assistant gaining some support resources and first hand assistance on some fields, things to note for the future.

Needless to say, I was sad to leave and go back to my full-time job, but the experience certainly settled some doubts I had within myself and re-assured me in my choices.

While the path is long, I will be so happy at the outcome and end result, that I can do this. After all I am in no rush for my life to pass me by and this journey will be so satisfying I cannot see any other course I would want to take.

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Author: Chevron Spots

I am in my mid twenties and fighting my battles to discover who I am and where I fit in to this zany, beautiful world. I was diagnosed with Lupus in in 2008. This takes up most of my focus, as I want to share the experience of trying to live with and rise above chronic invisible illness, so to speak. I would like to stress very much the information regarding medications, medical procedures and illnesses are discussed from my point of view, and with my understanding, colloquialisms and metaphors. I do not attempt to be legally and precisely accurate for the general population, rather I try to be emotionally and descriptively true to my experiences. I hope I can help in understanding others with chronic illness by providing one more personal recount of just how spontaneous and difficult these lives really are. One day I hope to visit every continent, climb some pretty high mountains, sleep in an ice cavern, marry a wonderfully understanding man, have children and teach more children. Mostly, I just want a simple life, you know the house with a husband and kids. Oh, and no pain.

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