This Lupus Life

I am the dancer and Lupus is my music. I want to make it look beautiful

Torment

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My life feels upside-down right now and in a nutshell here’s why:

  • 3 years ago I graduated with a Diploma of Interior of Decoration. I immediately started in a sub-section of the ID business doing something that focused on a particular aspect. I loved that job. The people became family. The office became home and the clients became good friends. And a few weeks ago I resigned from that job and am now trying to find what the next step in my life is career-wise.
  • My grandmother passed away a year ago. Her passing gift to me is a trip to Europe for a while. Different countries, different activities, different people to meet and adventures to be had. I am going with a good guy friend from high school who I love like a brother, but we haven’t spent much time together over the past few years so I have this chance to travel and re-acquaint myself with someone who I used to be very close to. I hope we still get along!!
  • I have felt unchallenged by my hobbies in the past few years. Last summer I took up Stand Up Paddleboarding and I fell in love. I have probably only been out a dozen times but the sight of the ocean everyday makes this hollow in my chest ache with longing. It’s winter now you see and I only have a wet suit that goes to the elbows and knees so not appropriate right now.
  •  I also took up Yoga and Pilates a year ago and have had a class in both every week since. That is, until I left my job. Now funds indicate the necessity to save what little I have so I cannot go to classes as yet. Whilst I can do it at home I am not burning off enough to prevent my little gut from buttering up.
  • I am feeling affectionate towards a certain someone. I am trying to get over this. Don’t ask me why but its just what I will do. This in itself brings up a whole deluge of emotions and issues I would just not like to deal with.
  • There is a certain someone who is illegally trying to swindle me out of a large sum of money owing to me. I am not by nature the kind of person who relishes over much with conflicts. I am not the type of person who would ever really like to threaten people in anyway whatsoever. So the situation I am now in is difficult for me. Maybe one day I will say more about this last part, but I try not to dwell on things so we’ll see.

For now let’s just say I am carrying a tornado in my torso and I wish something would resolve so I could feel a little more at ease inside…

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Author: Chevron Spots

I am in my mid twenties and fighting my battles to discover who I am and where I fit in to this zany, beautiful world. I was diagnosed with Lupus in in 2008. This takes up most of my focus, as I want to share the experience of trying to live with and rise above chronic invisible illness, so to speak. I would like to stress very much the information regarding medications, medical procedures and illnesses are discussed from my point of view, and with my understanding, colloquialisms and metaphors. I do not attempt to be legally and precisely accurate for the general population, rather I try to be emotionally and descriptively true to my experiences. I hope I can help in understanding others with chronic illness by providing one more personal recount of just how spontaneous and difficult these lives really are. One day I hope to visit every continent, climb some pretty high mountains, sleep in an ice cavern, marry a wonderfully understanding man, have children and teach more children. Mostly, I just want a simple life, you know the house with a husband and kids. Oh, and no pain.

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